Chinese Translations Gone Awry

We've been home just over a month now from our epic journey to China and I just finished editing and labeling our photos. It was quite the job, especially coupled with a new kiddo and a new job :)

While in China, we took pains to capture our very favorite informational signs. The meaning is (usually) clear... the translation, not so much.

Hope you enjoy these as much as we did!

"If you have or brain disease, please ascend the great wall according to your capability." Ben made it all the way up our section of the Great Wall, so I guess he's clear.

"Welcome for shooting but please don't sit on it" from a gelato stand near the Big Buddha in Hong Kong.  It's weird, you'd think that shooting the cute little ice cream cone would actually be more damaging than sitting on it.

"Be careful of floor slide" from our hotel bathroom in Guangzhou

A "Sleep pig in car" bumper sticker in Beijing.  The best part about this one is that it's actually a comedic play on "Baby on board" although I'm guessing that it gains greater oddity with translation

From the Great Wall (it was rife with comedy), "Please keep off the iron tower during thunderstorms."
Apparently you're welcome to climb the rickety radio tower as long as it's not raining.

Another from the Great Wall, "Speaking cellphone is strictly prohibited when thunderstorm."  It's just one of those things you wouldn't think you'd need to warn people about, especially not with a sign screwed into a millennial-old structure.

The Guangzhou park was full of interesting signage.  Much as I tried to persuade them, the kids remained unconvinced that the "Lovely fruit worm pulley" sounded fun.

More park directions.  My favorite part is, "Children younger than five years old and cowards should be accompanied with adults."

"Dangerous at the bank please keep the danger away"  Yes, keep it far, far away.

From another park in Guangzhou (we think these were meant to be cute):  "Grass smiling, please keep off"

From the same park, "The grass offer you green.  You should return them love" (I want this one for my gardens at home!)

Ok, admittedly, this one isn't so funny in translation, it's just the idea that next to the bunny hutch it says, "For your safety, please keep away"

Again, not the translation that makes me smile, it's the fact that the tiger pit at the Safari Zoo has a rescue ladder.  Good luck with that if you find yourself needing it.

Sam takes the "Care for the step" sign to heart and provides it some tender TLC

And, my absolute favorite, "One-way walk, do not retrograde"