25 Years

25 years. Whoa. When we got married, the top TV shows were ER, Friends, and Fraiser. Semisonic's Closing Time ruled the airwaves. There was still commercially viable radio. Only very fancy people had cellphones. Lindsay Lohan starred in The Parent Trap remake. Bill Clinton was president. I had just turned 19. This was a long time ago, people!

25 years. 

Anniversaries are moments to reflect. There is so much I am grateful for over the past 25 years. Here's a quick list:

• 
  Growing up together. We got married young. It wasn't the plan, it wasn't the goal, but it was the path we chose. As a result, we got to grow up together. We entered adulthood together. Our stories have been intertwined for almost as long as either of us can remember. I am grateful for that.
• Shared activities. We love doing so many of the same things. That doesn't always mean that we do them together... but we sure do a lot of skiing and biking and camping together! I love that our hobbies overlap, so that we get to spend time doing things we love with people we love.
• 
  Learning to respect our differences. We are very different people with different personalities, motivations, and priorities. It took a while, and this is still a lesson I'm learning, but we have learned to respect our differences and the person the other is and is becoming. We have very different strengths and weaknesses. That doesn't change our individual responsibilities to grow, but to that individual growth we get to add complementary styles and strengths. We are better together.
• Supporting each other's dreams. I could not have experienced the workplace, personal, and academic success that I've seen without Steve's support. He has believed in me, given me freedom to set my own priorities, and made space for me to pursue my independent goals. Thank you for respecting, valuing, and supporting my ever-evolving, ever-escalating dreams!
• 
  Making sound financial decisions early. We worked so, so hard early in our marriage to make good financial decisions. We saved, lived within our means, invested, and sacrificed (while still having a ton of fun). I do not take for granted the blessings and hard work that set us on a solid financial foundation early on. And I am grateful for the flexibility we experience now and in the future as a result of that foundation.
• A shared commitment to do the work. All relationship is hard work, marriage even more so. Over the years we have learned to do the work and honor our commitment. And we have even grown (sometimes) to enjoy the work of learning from each other and about each other, applying new skills and getting curious about what makes the other tick. I am thankful that year after year we choose to learn to do marriage better.
• 
  Enjoying hanging out together. I am so grateful for a partner I love to hang out with. And not just because he lets me win at cards.

It's been 25 years and I think we're starting to figure this marriage thing out. Give us another 50 years and we'll be pros. We are not the same people we fell in love with. We are deeper and more flawed and richer and more beautiful than we could have imagined as teenagers. I am privileged to be on this journey. Thanks for an exceptional quarter century, Babe.

Viva España

This summer we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary and we decided that we were going to do it right! We started with a ginormous backyard party, which was everything we hoped it would be - good friends, good food, good music, good backyard vibe - it was a darn fine party!

But the party was just the first step in our epic anniversary plans - a few weeks later (over our actual anniversary) we flew to Spain (Spain! Can you believe it?!?) for nine days of kid-free, agenda-free, computer-free, blissfully-free adventure. It was amazing.

The most common question we get is, "what was the best part?"

Steve's answer is simple: paella. We had talked about paella for the whole trip but it wasn't until we got to Barcelona (the final stop) that we did a little research, found a well-recommended paella place (Tavern Glop... great paella, terrible name) and dug in. And it everything we had hoped it would be! Candidly, my rabbit-and-snails rice dish was a little bland. Next time, we'll keep it simple and just order 2 paellas.

My answer to the "favorite part" question is less definitive - I just really liked being together; no responsibilities, no real plans, just seeing the sights and hanging out together.

Now, we all know that Steve will laugh out loud when he reads this post because our definitions of "just hanging out" are still pretty different. When I say "no real plans" what I really mean is "a mere one structured outing or reservation per day". I mean, we had to make sure we saw the main sights, right?!?

I loved a lot about Spain,  but probably my favorite thing (after cava sangria) was that nobody will kick you out of a restaurant! I loved that we would find a cozy table with a menu that looked good, nurse a beer and a few tapas, and play cribbage for hours.

Of course, the no-pressure approach to table vacancy did mean we had to wait or wander a while to find the perfect cozy nook to hang out in, but it was well worth the search. Plus, we were the crazy Americans eating at the ungodly early hour of 8 pm, so the restaurants were still pretty empty.

I loved each of our 3 stops for how different and unique and fantastic they each were. Toledo was this very quiet, very quaint, mostly walking city with endless crooked alleys and a sword shop on every corner. Besides touring the cathedral, we mostly just wandered, ate, played cards, ate some more, and then wandered a bit more. It was slow-paced, quiet, and the perfect start to our trip.

Stop 2 was Rota, on the southern Atlantic coast of Spain. The best part of Rota was seeing my aunt and uncle, who are living the dream on the Spanish coast!


We spent hours and days walking the beaches, stopping at random beach bars to fortify ourselves, taking a nap, and then doing it all over again. Heaven.

And our final stop was Barcelona - completely different from the other two cities we visited, and also completely wonderful. Touring the Sagrada Familia and other Gaudi homes, hitting the Picasso museum, and just wandering the streets of such a beautiful, artistic, historical-yet-modern city was an excellent end to our amazing adventure.

By far, the best part of the trip was doing it together. We're pretty darn good adventure buddies and it's a blessing to have time away to remember just how much we enjoy being just about anywhere as long as we're doing it together.

19th Anniversary

Today we celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary! I've officially been married for half of my life - that's a pretty darn cool thing to be able to say.

I'm so proud of us!

Our 17th Anniversary - This Ride's for Us

The celebration just won't stop! We chased our amazing anniversary weekend in Sundance ("Anniversary Observed") with the GLMR Ride on Saturday ("Anniversary Official") - 100 miles through Utah County to raise awareness and funds for mental illness.

As a part of team Cycle 4 Cure, Steve and I get so many chances raise money and awareness for tough diseases. Even better than that, we get to ride for people we love, encouraging them and dedicating rides and prayers to their health and wholeness.

Halfway through Saturday's GLMR ride, my teammate Zach leaned over and asked, "So, who are you riding for today?" And the answer was easy, "This one's for us."

Mental illness affects 1 in 4 Americans, many of whom fight in silence because of the stigma of mental illness. Our family story has been  dramatically affected by mental illness - we know the pain and hard, hard work of regaining mental health. Some fight daily, some fight in spurts and cycles, and some, like us, are grateful to be in a time of stability and monitoring.

Saturday was a celebration of our physical, mental, emotional, and relational health (all three hard work to be sure!). It was a time to get out into Utah's amazing countryside and revel in time together on two wheels. It was a time of gratitude for our story so far and prayer for the chapters to come.

Saturday's ride was for us.

p.s. Saturday was also justification for Steve's first 4x4 at In and Out (yes, 4 patties on one bun). He's been planning that for a long time. Yes, it was as repulsive as it sounds. Yes, he relished every bite.

Anniversary Getaway

This weekend we enjoyed an amazing anniversary getaway at Sundance. I just can't believe that we have a place this amazing 20 minutes from our front door!

We spent the weekend eating (a lot), mountain biking (not enough), hiking (just right), drinking (probably too much), and just enjoying hanging out with our very favorite person in the whole wide world (never enough). It was a sweet, chill, beautiful weekend. The perfect celebration.

After Friday night's Bluebird concert we decided to try our hand at mountain biking on Saturday. You may recall that my last mountain biking attempt, almost exactly one year ago, ended spectacularly catastrophically with me unable to walk for almost a month. It was truly terrible.

So, of course, we had to try again. We stuck to easy trails and, like a weenie, I walked down all intimidating-looking parts. Steve was very patient. We had the power of matching orange shirts, so we were pretty much destined to have a great day (I swear, neither of us realized this was happening as we packed for the weekend).

The trails were amazing and a good mix of Steve's love of downhill and my love of wide roads and climbing. I tell you what, if you could combine the two of us you would get some kind of mega-biker.

So, despite our proven accident-proneness we made it down the mountain in one piece with no falls and big smiles.

Saturday night ended with our favorite dinner in the whole wide world - Bearclaw Supper Club! We couldn't decide whether we should just wuss out and take the lift up or not, but eventually Steve sweetly acquiesced to Jamie's enthusiasm and we "earned our appetizers" by hiking up to the top of Sundance.

And, oh my goodness, thank goodness we did because the lift broke down and everybody else was delayed for an hour. That's right folks, we had this spread all to ourselves for a full hour while they worked to get the rest of the guests up! Best private party ever.

Yes, we did all that damage to the honeycomb all by ourselves. No, we had no regrets.

The rest of the guests did eventually arrive, which was good because then they brought out the carving table and other hors d'oeuvres and the band started playing instead of just sitting around and drinking with us. Of course, after eating roughly my body weight in sausage, cheese, bread, and honey I was pretty much useless for the rest of the food but I did manage to find space for a cream puff or three.

As the sun set we finished our glasses of wine and third or fifth creme puff and just marveled. This beautiful weekend. This beautiful world. The blessings, adventures, tough stuff, and growth we've experienced in our first 17 years. It's a lot to be grateful for.

A few weeks ago, Pastor Scott preached on trials and tough times and said that, "at the end of perseverance is joy." That has certainly been our experience. I believe that it will be true through the rest of the tough stuff that life will bring - that at the end of every time of perseverance we will find joy.

The coolest part of the evening (and that's saying something, since the whole day was totally amazing) was this rainbow that God blessed us with. I can't imagine a better way to remember and celebrate the promise that two kids made 17 years ago. God is good and God is faithful - we are living proof.

16 Years Strong

I know, I know, it doesn't seem possible but these two attractive young people have been married for sixteen - sixteen! - years. That means our marriage is now the same age as I was when Steve and I started dating. Woah.

And both despite and because of our adventures and growing experiences, trials and traumas, joys and blessings, and fun and games I am proud and grateful to confess that I love and respect this man more today than ever. Sixteen years sounds like an awfully long time, but I still feel like a 19-year-old girl giddy with the excitement of her wedding day. I hope I always do.

We celebrated our anniversary at Sundance enjoying big skies, mountain views, and our first ever Bluebird Cafe concert featuring Amy Grant! It was a blast - good music, perfect setting, and, yes, she sang both Baby, Baby and El Shaddai. It was quite the evening.

And then what did my amazing husband do? He surprised me with a full anniversary Sundance adventure! We stayed overnight in a fabulous Sundance room, spent the morning in the mountain sunshine on a lift ride, and then got massages. It was such a decadent weekend, and a wonderful celebration of sixteen fab years.

Happy anniversary to us! Can't wait to start planning for our 20th...

Happy 15th Anniversary to Us

“A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.”
- John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
- Ernest Hemmingway

Marriage isn’t for everyone... But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.”
- Jesus (Matthew 19:11-12)

Happy 15th Anniversary to us! A decade and a half ago today two kids stood in a field at sunset in the presence of God, their parents, their families, and the Family of Christ, and pledged to love, serve, honor, and follow each other for the rest of their lives.

And the subsequent 15 years (let alone 15 months!) have been full of adventures, some chosen and some thrust upon us. And we have grown.  And we continue to grow.  And we have depended on the other.  And we continually depend on Christ. And we are proud and grateful that the adventure continues and that we continue, hand in hand, on the adventure.

Place me like a seal over your heart,
    like a seal on your arm.
For love is as strong as death,
    its jealousy as enduring as the grave.
Love flashes like fire,
    the brightest kind of flame.
Many waters cannot quench love,
    nor can rivers drown it.
If a man tried to buy love
    with all his wealth,
    his offer would be utterly scorned.

- Solomon (Song 8:6-7)

2 Years a Morningstar

It's mindblowing to think about the changes we've seen in our little one in the two years we've known each other.  WanYing has now been a Morningstar for half of her life!  And although we still see some negative vestiges of that early life, more and more we see a vibrant, tenacious, silly, tender, simply beautiful young lady shining through.

This year we celebrated Gotcha Day with a mac & cheese dinner outside on the patio (guess who chose the menu!) followed with the traditional Pi Day pie - because you can't have your Gotcha Day on 3.14 and not have pie for dessert!

WanYing now

Our first Gotcha Day - 3/14/2011.  Her love for zebra print has not faded!

WanYing and Mommy then

WanYing and Mommy now - our smiles and love just keep growing!

Happy Gotcha Day, YingYing - we are so proud and blessed to call you ours!

Happy 14th to Us

On July 18, 1998 we stood surrounded by friends and family the field behind Grace Fellowship Chapel in Westminster and a 19-year old Jamie promised a 20-year old Steve that:

Where you go I will go,
and where you stay I will stay.
Your people will be my people
and your God my God.

Ruth 1:16

And here we are, 14 years later, still living out that promise, still choosing it every day.  I am grateful that we chose each other.  I am grateful that we continue to choose each other.  And I look forward to many more years and adventures together to come.

Although if year 15 wanted to be a little less "exciting" than year 14, I wouldn't argue.  A little breather would be appreciated.

Steve Earns his Wings

Steve finally got a chance to enjoy his anniversary gift last week with his first of three paragliding lessons!

He had a great time, and afterward bemoaned the fact that now he'll have to choose between purchasing a paragliding rig, a kite skiing rig, and a car that's not 25 years old and can fit his whole family.  I love the fact that this is actually a complicated decision in my family!

Steve starts with a little hippity-hop flight down the hill (he's the orange and gray and red one on the left)

But mere lack of experience and fear of gravity's application couldn't keep a good man down!  Next flight, he was up, up, and away!

Almost down safe and sound...

Hooray!

Sasha gives her papa a big "welcome back to earth" smooch

Way to earn your wings, baby.

To be continued...