Is the dishwasher dirty?

Actual conversation from breakfast:

Sasha: Dad, is the dishwasher clean or dirty?

Dad: Seriously?

Sasha: Should I put my bowl in the sink or the dishwasher?

Dad: Wait. Let me get my camera out. Ok, ask me one more time.

Sasha: Is the dishwasher clean or dirty?

You know you have effectively instilled the fear of God into your children about putting dirty dishes into a clean dishwasher when they are paranoid about putting their breakfast dishes into a completely empty dishwasher.

Hot Dogging

 by Sasha

I like my hot dog hair because they're kind of like the dinosaur horns.  People think my hair is funny and they like it.  My teachers Miss Teresa and Miss Shaila like it.  Next time I want five six ten hot dogs in my hair.

Editor's Notes:  In case you're wondering why this hairstyle is called "hot dogs" in our home, I finally figured it out a few weeks ago - I think that "buns" and "hot dogs" got a little confused in the space between Sasha's brain and mouth and buns have been been called hot dogs in our family ever since!

Ben's Beverage Experiments

Mom: [hears caterwauling in the kitchen and comes down to investigate] What's going on, Buddy?

Ben: [with righteous indignation] It's Dad. He says I have to stick with chocolate milk and I can't have syrup milk.

A few minutes later, after Mom regains her composure...

Mom: Can I take a picture of you holding the syrup for the blog?

Ben: If I can have some syrup milk!

Mom:  Deal, but only a little one.

Ben makes syrup milk.  Mom struggles to keep her cookies down.

Mom: How is it?

Ben: Not bad. [takes a few more sips] But now it's tasting kinda buttery.

Mom throws up a little in her mouth.

The final review?  Ben does not recommend syrup milk made with butter flavored syrup.

The Birds and the Bees, 10-year-old Style

Sam:  Are there 30 years in a generation?

Mom:  I think it's about 25

Sam:  Ok, so in about 15 years I'll spawn a new generation with my wife

Ben:  I think Sam needs to play a little less Halo

Applecado and Apple Pie

Here's Sash, showing off two of her favorite foods - applecado and apple pie.

The girl sure does love her apples!

First Day of School

Steve's been acting chipper and humming, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" while Jamie equally merrily conducts multiple office goods shopping trips (boy do I love Staples) - it must be back-to-school time! The only sobering part is that we have a fifth grader, a third grader, and a preschooler (and one who refuses to be left out of a photo with her siblings). Yikes! Fifth grade?!? He's like almost a real person!

Besides Ben's rather extreme obedience to the photographic direction to "squeeze in a little tighter to your brother," the morning went smoothly and everybody got off to school without a hitch. WanYing rebounded fairly gracefully from the change in routine, as well, and she swiftly realized that being at home with Dad with nobody to compete with for toys has its perks.

I asked the kiddos about the coolest part of their first day of school and here's what I got:

Ben:  At recess I played with Keagan (this is our social kid)

Sasha:  Making my hand to say:

1. Cris cross applesauce
2. Lips closed
3. Put your bottom on the floor
4. Hands and feet
5. Listen to your ears

(apparently she made a craft that had the circle time rules written on a cutout of her hand. I'm guessing that her teacher doesn't actually ask them to listen to their ears, but I'm pretty impressed that Sasha could remember all five directions after day one!)

Sam:  Making some new friends (apparently he found somebody who likes chess and Halo, making for a fast friendship, which is pretty awesome for our less-socially-inclined son)

It sounds like the school year is off to a great start!

Sasha's Creative Ideas on Family Roles

Two recent conversations that illuminate Sasha's creative ideas on appropriate family roles:

(as Sasha is getting ready for bed)
Sasha: I have to get my Chairman Meow! (her stuffed kitty)
Mommy: You are taking really good care of him
Sasha: Yeah, cause he's my brother
Mommy: Your brother?
Sasha: (matter of factly) Yeah, my cat brother!

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(as Sasha is bossing WanYing)
Mommy: Sasha, you don't need to boss your sister. WanYing only needs one mommy and I'll be the mommy
Sasha: Yeah, and I'll be the daddy

Not exactly the effect I was going for... but how I do love our beautiful, crazy, sassy little girl!

Top Saturday Quotes

You know you're living the dream when you say the following:
Steve, will you check under the bed and make sure the dog didn't throw up?

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Steve: [talking about summer reading] Sam, you should read the rest of the Great Brains - we only have two
Sam: Yeah, me and Mom!

Give that one a sec and read it though again - my son clearly has a great brain and a flair for subtlety!

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And a series of quotes from Steve's new war against the birds who are eating our strawberries:

Steve: [sitting in his "robin blind" (aka the playset) watching for birds in the neighbor's yard that would dare have the audacity to come over into our berry patch] I see one.. Oh, that's a grouse
Jamie: No, that's a robin
Steve: [grabs the airsoft gun] Lock and load

Steve: When we come out tomorrow and find a dead bird under the netting... [considering reaction] then we'll know we've won

And then one from today:
Sasha: Daddy, Daddy, come quick! There's a robin in the yard! Shoot it, shoot it!

Great. I can't see this ending badly. But at least the berries are safe :)

Phrases that Strike Fear into a Parent's Heart

The top 5 phrases we dread hearing from the girls (ok, mostly Sasha, WanYing still mostly talks in single words):

1. "May I please have more [name of food or beverage]" - we will honor the polite request only to have her leave the table 5 minutes later with the extra [name of food or beverage] untouched
2. "I do it myself" - this means that there will soon be a giant mess to clean up, which Sasha will clean up herself using the dish towels and we will later find stiff, milk-soaked or marker-stained towels hanging on the oven
3. "Chorney, out!" - Chorney has eaten something that Sasha probably put into her mouth in the first place and she is now upset that the dog is gnawing on it.  Usually ends in wailing and tears.
4. "Holy Smokes!" - we hear this a lot.   Sometimes it means that something good (from the parental perspective) has happened.  But mostly it's an exclamation that means that there's a mess to clean up, as mentioned in item #2
5. "I help" - the most dreaded of all.  The project will now take three times as long and a ginormous auxiliary mess will be made in the process (again, see #2 above).  But smiles will abound... so maybe it's not so bad after all :)

Quote of the Day

(As Sam picks out the big clippers to trim his nails and Mom feels the needless responsibility to overbearingly state the obvious)

Mom: Careful with those clippers - they're the big ones so just make sure you don't pinch your toes
Sam: Don't worry, Mom, "safety" is my last name
Mom: No, that's "Morningstar"
Sam: Ok, it's my middle name
Mom: Nope, that's "Isaac"
Sam: Ok, "safety" is my figurative name

Got me there!

Recent Sasha Quotes

I have an owie.  Chorney bit my finger.  See?  Chorney, come here, eat my finger.  Good puppy.

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When I grow up, I gonna be big like you.  I gonna be a mommy.  No, I gonna be a doggie.  And my WanYing gonna be a doggie.

---

Sasha:  S is for Sasha.
Sam:  And S is for Sam.
Sasha:  No!  S is mine!

Quotables

Ben:  I think Sasha poisoned herself
Steve: [panicking] What did she eat?!?
Ben:  Sea monkeys

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Steve:  Sasha, are you chewing on the table again?

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(Sasha's most recent good night prayer)
Dea Ward,
Bwing my WanYing home wight now and afta Sam's birday we go get WanYing.
Amen

They are not merely opponents...

Sam: Ben, who won your soccer game today?

Ben: (dejected) The enemy.

We're All Doggies to Her

I have a theory about Sasha and the more I think about it, the more convinced I become of its truth: I think that we're all doggies in Sasha's eyes.

Consider the following compelling evidence:

First, a conversation from Saturday morning

Sasha, triumphantly announces a potty victory, "Boys! I go potty and put on underwear!"

Realizing that Ben didn't hear her declaration, she asks, "Oh, where my Ben? Ben still sleeping?"

I reply, "Yes, let him sleep"

Sasha: "No, no, I need to go pet him" as she stomps up to Ben's room and tenderly strokes his head.

Next, Sasha, in a quiet and loving moment, comes over to me and pats my arm, chanting, "You good boy, Mommy, good boy."

And she always asks if Chornaya is coming to church with us and is surprised that the answer is no.

You be the judge

A Quick Trip to China Before Naptime

Today, Sasha picked up Ben's video game timer, pushed some buttons, replaced the timer, fixed her eyes on me, and calmly explained, "Today in two, three minutes we go get Mei Mei. I want go get Mei Mei. I be big sister."

We don't really know how much Sasha understands about our quest for her sister. Mei Mei is alternately Sasha's Kai-Lan doll, Kai-Lan herself when viewed on Nickelodeon.com, and, very occasionally, Sasha's sister. But then Sash will knock me over with some statement about going to get Mei Mei and I think... maybe, just maybe, her little heart understands a bit about what's going on. Maybe God's preparing her for this new adventure.

Regardless, I'll treasure Sasha's sweet and wistful moments for her sister as they come. I'm glad I'm not the only Morningstar gal waiting impatiently for Mei Mei.

What Sasha Learned in Sunday School

As I was having some quiet time the other morning, reading my Bible and journaling, Sasha sauntered over and asked:

"Whachoo doin' Mommy?"
Me: "Just praying and writing to God"
Sasha: "Oh! You say, 'Let my people go!'"

She said it with such conviction and adamant finger waggling that I'm pretty sure even Pharaoh would have relented!

Way to go, church nursery staff, she's definitely learning something in your classes (even if she does gravitate to the lessons where she gets to be bossy)!

Quotes of the Week

(Jamie) Ben, what did you have for snack today at Kudos?
(Ben) Krispy Kremes with chocolate frosting and sprinkles!
(Jamie) Oh, my, so you've only had donuts to eat today?
(Ben) And Skittles!

I stand corrected

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(Jamie) Stephen! We are not bribing the children to drink scotch!

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(Sam) Mom, how much does a disposable lighter cost?

Yeah, that question doesn't worry a Mommy

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(Jamie) Sash, what should we make for lunch?

(Sasha)Wackymoni!

Wise beyond his years

Last night Steve made a fabulous Jamie Oliver chicken dinner and I came home from work to find dinner and wine on the table and jazz playing on the XM. Perfection!

Halfway through dinner Ben paused, cocked his head, looked at us sideways, and asked/exclaimed, "Is this sexy music?!?"

The best part of the whole experience? The song had just changed to Glenn Miller's In the Mood.

Dinner Quotes

You know you shared a meaningful family dinner when you emerge from the meal with not one but two blogworthy quotes.

Ben: I'm ripping off all the green bean heads - yah!

Steve: Sasha, the fish does not go in the kazoo. Ok, that's it, no more kazoo at the table when you're eating.

Never a dull moment

Quote of the Day

These words actually came out of my mouth this evening while Sasha was "helping" me load the dishwasher:

Time out, young lady; just because Chorney licks something doesn't mean you can.