Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Not All Smiles

We take a lot of happy photos in our house and it's true that we have a whole lot of really joyful times.  But I think it's also important to memorialize the not-so-gleeful moments, because our lives aren't all fun and games (although I think we do have an above-average aptitude for gamery). 

Today was a sad day for WanYing - a clingy, mopy, teary, blue day.  We don't know what triggers these days and I know we shouldn't be surprised by them, after all, every aspect of WanYing's life has been turned upside down in the last five months.  But they're still hard.  They're hard for the Daddy who is trying to keep a house running while simultaneously caring for a girl who desperately needs quiet snuggles for hours at a time.  They're hard for Sasha and Ben and Sam who have to be in-tune with their sister's emotions and (hopefully) not push her too far or play too raucously on sensitive days.  And they're hard on WanYing who is just trying to survive so much change.  We wish we could just reach inside behind those pained little eyes and wipe away all of the confusion and fear and insecurity.  We wish we could right all of the injustice of her first two years.  We wish we could just make it better.  But we can't.  This is a part of her journey, and a road she has to walk and reconcile with through each stage of her growth and maturity.  And right now, the best we can do for our baby is to walk alongside her and cuddle her and speak the truth that she is, and always has been, loved and that nothing can separate her from that love.  Because, in the end, it is only that Love that can heal her heart.

9 comments:

The Life of Four Beckstrom's! said...

You guys are so awesome. I love your posts.

ryteitdown said...

Sending love and prayers to your family, and especially for little WanYing. She is so strong for such a little girl. I miss you much, JStar.

Lou Ann said...

Awww, it hurts my heart not to see her big smile. But thank you for reminding me (and everyone else checking in on the Morningstars) that all kids, especially children who have spent time in an institution, have challenges that they have to face. But with the love and support of her family, I'm SURE WanYing will find her way over this bump to the sunny part of the road.
Blessing to you all,
Lou Ann & Lexie too

Anonymous said...

Oh, sweet girl! You just want to take all the hurt away, don't you? She is blessed with the "just right" family for her though!

Unknown said...

So much wisdom in this post. I've been spending a lot of time the last few days thinking about how to recognize Grace's pain, and how we can help her through it. Thank you so, so much for sharing this.

Lori @ Five of My Own said...

the tenderness in your words is the first sign that all will be well.

Marianne said...

Sorry to hear little WanYing is having a rough day. Brings tears to my eyes just reading about it! Hoping her precious heart heals surrounded by your love! Ditto, you guys are awesome!!!!

Al and Lyndsie said...

Beautiful truth!

BabyKazfan said...

bless her heart. you are such a good mommy...and such a high aptitude for gamery. :) xoxoxo here's to more happy days than sad for all of you.

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