Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Picky Pizza Posters - Pizza Pie Cafe

The ultimate quest for the worst pizza experience in Utah Valley 

This week we branched out to the Pizza Pie Cafe, a pizza buffet.

Lots of value to be provided here if you like the concept of all-you-can-eat dining and need food right away. Pizza, pasta, and salad bar await you inside the former storefront of a Hollywood Video. Pizza styles ranging from humble pepperoni to "exotic" chicken alfredo.


Plenty of booths with room for six, small enclosed private booths good for small groups or couples in love who have given up trying to impress each other with their dining choices.

The wall was decorated with license plates and large decorative tin stars, hooks galore to hang coats or small children from, wood scroll-cut painted words. The words read from left to right: Family, Friends, Kitchen, Live, Love, Laugh, Gourmet. Yeah, we don't get it either.


Pepsi fountain drinks, including fancy choices like apple beer and Mountain Dew Code Red. Beverages made super-cool by the addition of DIY crazy straw kits Mom brought home from her recent trip to Chicago.

Price for one large cheese

$35 for 6 of us.  That can be anywhere from one large to infinite large pizzas, but, alas, no leftovers.

Pizza Impressions

Spongy crust, adequate grease content, formerly white chromebook keys now a pale red from grease. No reason to eat the crust because a) it wasn't good and b) you can always go back for more pizza.

Sam: Nice and homely pizza. This is definitely “American pizza;” cheap and pretty tasty.

Dad: Ben, you can’t start with the Oreo pizza.
Ben: Dessert first!

Sam: Can’t get enough of these garlic knots! Pretty sure they put in cocaine to make them addictive.

WanYing: This is a buffet so this is really fancy. It’s fancy because they have stars all around and you can choose what you want. (Sundance’s brunch buffet may be effecting her ideas about buffets being fancy)

Mom: It’s not good, but there is a lot of it.



If you are looking for large quantities of mid-priced pizza ranging in quality from not that great to inedible, than this is the restaurant for you. It's bad; but it's still better than Denny's.

As a reminder, here's our rating scale:

0 slices - I would not eat this at any price
1 slices - It’s not good but at least its pizza
2 slices - I would consider coming back if every other pizza place was closed
3 slices - Cheap enough and edible enough for my kid’s birthday party
4 slices - I’ll come back, but Dad is buying
5 slices - Somewhere between 4 and 6
6 slices - Stuffing some in my pockets to eat later

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