Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Like servants, alert to their master's commands,
like a maiden attending her lady,
We're watching and waiting, holding our breath,
awaiting your word of mercy.
Mercy, God, mercy!
I am not a patient person. I am not a naturally graceful waiter. But in these last years I have learned and believed and learned to trust that waiting is never wasted time. It's never void.
The wait for Sasha was brutal. Despite a conscious knowledge of God's promises for our times of waiting on him, that message hadn't sunk into my heart. I was impatient, cranky, angsty. I wanted my baby and every day that kept us apart was agonizing. It wasn't pretty. But God used me and taught me despite myself.
The wait for WanYing was a little easier. Not easy... waiting isn't, shouldn't be, easy, but less angst-ridden. I had already experienced the transformative work accomplished in the waiting, so it was easier to believe the promises that cushioned the grief of my separation from the girl who would be my daughter. And a few more of my seemingly endless number of rough edges were polished out.
And a pretty amazing testimony, because I am not a patient person :)