I know that this will come as no surprise to anybody, but adoption is not for the faint of heart! I mean, parenthood is no small adventure, but international adoption truly adds a whole extra layer of excitement (and exceedingly tedious waiting!) to the whole thing. I say all this not because there's been any real change in our adoption situation - we're in week 4 of dossier translation, which should put us about halfway through the translation process - but because the reality of the difficulty of the wait is becoming painfully clear to me. I mean, I always knew it would be hard, but knowing and feeling the pain are two very different experiences.
Maybe it's just Mother's Day that has me feeling sappy... I was shopping in Target Saturday afternoon and all of the sudden the weight of the separation from my little girl snuck up on me and left me teary in the stationery aisle. How can I so deeply miss somebody that I've never met? But she's so real to me, to each of us. Now, I should fill in the whole crying in Target story by letting you know that I had just come from Toys-R-Us where I used my Mother's Day money to buy two new outfits for sestra's doll, so I was probably setting myself up for an emotional fall. But, still, I was astounded by the strength of my emotion.
Speaking of sestra's doll, I got her before Christmas and man am I glad that I did! I happened to be in Toys-R-Us and saw a sweet little Asian-looking doll with short hair and figured that I ought to snag her and now it looks like that style was discontinued by Fisher Price! Score one for the mom buying her daughter a doll a full year before she'll even meet her.
It's weird - I want the boys to continue to anticipate the arrival of their sister, but I also worry that they'll tire of the wait. They show no signs of weariness so far, though. The other day we painted a teaset that I got for my birthday (thanks Laura!) for sestra and they were very enthusiastic. Granted, the creamer got painted black because it's the color of venom, but as Sam explained, "Hey, we're boys, what else do you expect?!?" And Ben is still loving Russian lessons - he and Daddy and Teacher Ben are making Russian phonogram cards so that we all learn the sounds of the Russian alphabet and they're having a blast.
But it's hard, really hard. Our new baby cousin was born on Tuesday (welcome little one!!!) and Uncle Mike texted me a photo. I showed it to the boys and Sam exclaimed, "Is that our sestra!?!" and I almost burst into tears. I don't know how we'll make it another 6 or 8 months, but I believe 1 Corinthians 2:9-10 and I choose to see the purpose in our wait. I look forward with eager anticipation to Christ shining through so much weakness.