Saturday, November 29, 2014

Picky Pizza Posters - Domino's

The ultimate quest for the worst pizza experience in Utah Valley

My last encounter with Domino’s Pizza (second largest pizza chain in the U.S.) was in the era of the Noid and 30-minutes-or-less guarantee. Candidly, I felt no loss from my 15-year Domino’s hiatus. But I recently heard that Domino’s was going through a bit of a pizza renaissance and knew it was time to experience Domino’s through the eyes of the picky pizza posters.

So, last week we ordered ourselves some Domino’s and are happy to report that Domino’s still ranks among the worst pizza money can buy.


High tech. Computer monitor order board shows my name and gives an expected wait time until pizza is ready. There’s even a quality check to be sure our pie passes Domino’s stringent standards for excellence. Dining area has a whole three chairs. Alas, no bathrooms in the "restaurant".

Price for a large cheese

$12.99 ($7.99 with online coupon)


Best selection in the house! Oh, wait, we were in our house. Free refills! Kinda.

Pizza Impressions

Fluffy soft cheese. The crust was equally soft - the boys remarked that it was like the pizza made from a cloud. It really was strangely unsubstantial. Did I even eat pizza? Maybe, maybe not.

Dad: Is the sauce robust like the box says?
Ben: I can’t even taste the sauce.
Dad: I guess not.

Ben: The flavor is good but the texture is weird.
WanYing: I don’t even know what that word means! Texture?

And that was the whole point. There was no texture. Eww.


2/6 slices

As a reminder, here's our rating system:
0 slices - I would not eat this at any price
1 slices - It’s not good but at least its pizza
2 slices - I would consider coming back if every other pizza place was closed
3 slices - Cheap enough and edible enough for my kid’s birthday party
4 slices - I’ll come back, but Dad is buying
5 slices - Somewhere between 4 and 6
6 slices - Stuffing some in my pockets to eat later

Maybe we’ll wait another 15 years and try it again.

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