Thursday, October 23, 2014

Picky Pizza Posters - SLAB

The ultimate quest for the worst pizza experience in Utah Valley

SLAB is designed for large groups of people who can’t agree on their pizza toppings. Cheese? Chicken cordon bleu? Pulled pork? At SLAB, everyone in your picky group can be appeased. Pizzas come in only one size, twenty inches. But you order your pizza by the quarter slab. Meaning an enormous pizza is created on-demand for your party, but you only get a quarter of it. Perfect for the college crowd it is catering to and located so close to BYU that you need to sign the honor code just to get in.


Large tables with seating for 8 in cheapish chairs, very convenient for large groups of college kids, which also works well for largish families. Everything designed for easy cleanup, which is also appropriate for college kids and our family. Copious amounts of napkins in dispenser, good for those with children who spill large drinks (sigh. we speak from experience). Maybe the restaurant should be renamed Slob?

This is the first place we’ve brought in a nice DSLR camera and felt like we blended in. Very “hip” here.

Large TV showing some baseball game. Boooring. But admittedly entertaining to hear Sam analyze the game, since his full understanding of baseball is founded on 2 seasons of t-ball.


Price for a large cheese

$18 (4 20” slabs equal one pizza)



Bucking the trend of unlimited refills, the fountain drink machine clearly stated only ONE refill allowed for free. We assume this is in reaction to college kids who will keep drinking any free non-caffeinated, non-alcoholic beverage as long as it lasts. But they have Apple Beer so who can blame them for restricting it.

Pizza Impressions

Large slab served on wax paper. No plates. Apparently we and SLAB share a "pizza on fine china" philosophy.

Mildly greasy. Crispy crust. Thin and similar to a cracker, but soft at the end. Sauce is just enough to be there but not overwhelm the cheese. Mild flavor bleed over from one pizza slab to the next, which was quite a problem for the pickiest of the crew.


5/6 Slices

Flavor bleed-over is a plus or a minus depending on your point of view. We were heartily divided as to whether the flavor mingling was a good thing.

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