Thursday, October 9, 2014

Picky Pizza Posters - Costco

The ultimate quest for the worst pizza experience in Utah Valley

By Sam and Steve

If you like purchasing obscene quantities of paper towels, frozen egg rolls, or granola bars for a mediocre price savings, then Costco is for you. For those elite few who get to call themselves Costco members, there is a special dining area that serves pizza alongside with other culinary masterpieces such as pulled pork sandwiches, jumbo hot dogs, and a Hot Pocket-like creation called a chicken bake.

I really like this description I found of Costco on Imgur: If zombies ever attack just go to Costco… they have concrete walls… years of foods and supplies… and best of all the zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership card.


A warehouse. We’re sitting at a group of a dozen tables, in a warehouse. There are jaunty table umbrellas - why are there umbrellas inside? We're always transfixed by the onion dispensers. Ambiance is topped off by all the smart TVs in the nearby electronics area to Bluetooth pair with :).

It's very noisy. Shouting is best way to communicate, so our children feel right at home. Fluorescently bright lighting. Great place to get bedroom furniture, Halloween costumes, large electronics, and yogurt to accompany your pizza.

Sam: Is it wise for them to leave the smart TV’s Bluetooth on? Wonder if they’re passworded? Only one way to find out…

Price for a large cheese

$10 pizza + $55 membership = $65 total. Most expensive yet.


Limited to pepsi fountain drinks, a case of 2 gallons of milk or 2 gallons of prune juice.


Checkout for pizza took forever; the line probably was moving backwards. Every table was already messy and sticky so there is no guilt in the children making it messier or stickier.

Ben: NO Samplers? Where are my hors d'oeuvres? And why do I always need to be with an adult to get them? How is that fair?

Pizza Impressions

Cheesetastic! Best cheese taste yet, though it tends to fall off all at once in one large cheese hunk. Very floppy soft crust with a touch of crunch. It's best folded in half for consumption. This is probably largest “large” yet (as befits a wholesale retailer). Great cheese hunks left on box to consume later.

WanYing: Awesome! (singing) Everything is awesome! (Lego movie was playing on flat screen tv display)

Sasha: I love it when the cheese falls off! Then I eat it up.


4/6 Slices

That was great. Lets get a palette of Oreos for dessert. Or maybe a hot tub or set of tires for the van.

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