The Craziest Thing we've Ever Done

Steve and I were chatting last night and came to the agreement that adoption is the craziest thing we've ever done - and if you've known us for any length of time, you'll know that's quite the statement. We've gone out on a limb before, trusting that God knows us better than we know ourselves and has a better plan than we could ever imagine - but this adoption thing is taking it to a whole new level!

Right now we're in what I've heard others refer to as the "dark time" of waiting. It's been over a month since we've had news that our dossier has progressed and in all probability we won't hear anything else for a month or two more. We should stress that this is normal - our paperwork is working its way through the bureaucracy of Kazakhstan and will in all likelihood emerge from the other side approved and needing no additional work or change. Some things are changing in adoption procedure in Kaz, but since our paperwork is already in their hands we shouldn't have to redo any paperwork for the new rules. Even if we do, it's no biggie, just another paper to notarize and FedEx in :)

But that's all what my head says. My heart says that this is the longest, cruelest wait of my life! I do believe that God is preparing us as parents, as a family during this waiting time, but man oh man am I ready for the waiting to be over. I want to go meet my baby!

So, what to do during these months of waiting? Well, the first thing I've been doing is to take care of myself - my sisters at church remind me that God is getting us ready for a missionary adventure and I'm learning more about myself and my Savior in preparation. I pray for myself, my family, my little girl; I read scripture and study to know more about our miraculous adventure in grace and refinement; I pray Ephesians 3:16-19 for our little girl:

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, my have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

And I remind myself that waiting in hope for the Lord is never a static process, and it's never without a reason. And I trust God's reasons and timelines far more than I trust my own (even though I tend to like mine better!)

What else do I do to pass the days/weeks/months? Well, right now I'm in buying mode (Steve just loves this phase). We haven't started decorating Sestra's room yet, so I can't channel my psycho-nervous energy into painting, so I've been buying stuff for our trip. This is a worthwhile pastime, since Steve and the boys don't have very good traveling clothes, so it's been fun shopping for those. Last week I purchased new snow boots for Sam and me. Snow boots. In August. I'm telling you, this waiting does crazy things to my head!

In between work and all of the elements of "normal" life, we've also been:

• learning Russian phonograms and vocabulary
• reading up on Kazakhstan and its history - I recommend Apples are from Kazakhstan, it's a good summer read and gives a nice summary of some not-so-nice history
• journaling to our little one - I figure she'll enjoy reading about Mommy's crazy paper-pregnancy in 15 years
• shopping for stuff for the trip (see above)
• shopping for gifts to take to Kaz

On that last bullet point, we have lots of gifts to buy for the folks we'll meet along the way in Kazakhstan, so I've been hunting for fabulous sale items to drag along with us. So far I have:

• 16 American flag notepads and pens
• 12 cool reusable bags to give the gifts in
• 3 packs of tissue paper and curly ribbon for wrapping in Kaz
• 4 make-up bags with Clinique bonuses (thanks, Laura!)
• 7 American flag t-shirts
• 12 sets of soap, etc. from Bath and Body Works
• 2 sets of bangle bracelets
• 25 Utah postcards with our thank-you message printed on the back

Yes, by the time we travel, we will probably have gifts for the entire population of Kazakhstan. But that's ok, we'll be grateful to all of them!

So now that you know way more than you probably cared about our preparations for our third kiddo, I thought I'd leave you with our thank-you note, 'cause everything looks cool in Russian:

Благодарю вас за то, что вы так тёпло приветствовали нас в красивом Казахстане и за помощь в усыновлении нашего ребёнка.
Искренне Ваши,
Семья Морнигстар

Translation:

Thank you for warmly welcoming us to beautiful Kazakhstan and for helping us realize the adoption of our child.
Sincerely,
The Morningstar Family