End of Day Journaling

For years I've had a regular practice of morning journaling. It's a time for me to reflect, pray, introspect, and think about the day to come. I used to journal in one big morning chunk, but Laura Vanderkam's book "Off the Clock" challenged me to change up my journaling routine by splitting morning and evening journaling. 

I found that in my morning journaling, I was spending a lot of time thinking about the previous day - my gratitude, feelings, frustrations, etc. I don't think that's particularly wrong or bad, but I wanted to be more present-oriented in the morning. So, I started journaling about the day at the end of the day (I know, it sounds obvious, but it took a whole time management book for me to get the idea). 

Here's what I journal at the end of each day:

• How today was special
• How I felt today (I have to do special concentrated work to stay connected to my feelings)
• Three people I'm grateful to and why
• What I'm grateful to myself for today

It's a lovely close to the day and helps me bookend whatever happened that day before I head to bed. 

I'm curious - what journaling approaches have you been using lately? What's working for you?

Personal, Relational, and Professional Goals

Last week we talked about my maniacal dedication to the goals I take on and how I have to be careful what I commit to because I will either kill myself achieving the goal or experience bitter disillusionment in my failure. It's a wild ride. 

A few months I started using a goalsetting approach invented by Laura Vanderkam (who has the best approaches to time management in the whole world). I'm super motivated by goals, I like setting (and achieving) goals, and I want my goals to support the kind of life I want to build, so I think a lot about my goals. 

Each week, I set three goals: a personal, professional, and relational goal. I may set two in one category, but no more. The goals may be related to something coming up that week, something that simply needs to get done, or a place where I want to enrich my life. And they have to support my values. This isn't a to-do list, this is what I want to prioritize my week around! 

Here are some examples of goals I set:

Personal goal examples:

• Go outside every day
• Journal three times
• Spent solo quiet time alone
• Exercise vigorously three times

My relational goals are generally around how I want to show up for somebody or a conversation I want to have with someone. I use my relational goals to prioritize and incentivize me to invest in people in a deeper way. 

And the professional goals are generally pretty easy, my professional goals are around networking or blogging or some big project milestone I want to hit. 

In all of these, I try to choose the "important" goals rather than the urgent ones. The urgent stuff will get done without needing special prioritization. It's the important but not urgent stuff that I use these goals to focus on - the stuff that I probably wouldn't naturally organize my week around but, if I stepped back, I really want to.

Here are my goals for this week:

• Personal: Journal three times
• Professional: Write a blog (check!) and outline my posts for the next 10 weeks
• Relational: Go on a date with my husband and set a schedule for our check-ins

Your turn - how do you think about goalsetting? How do you use goals to change your mindset or prioritization?

Strength and Shadow Side

As I'm in a career counseling class for my master's in counseling, I've been thinking a lot about my strengths and also the shadow side of those strengths. I'll give you an example - 

I am a goal-oriented person. I take my commitments very seriously; once I'm in, there's no going back. Last month, my yoga studio ran a fun little contest to see who would come 15 times in the month of January. The prize was a t-shirt if you did it. I decided I was in, and I was the first one to fill in my card. I will wear my shirt with equal parts of pride and amusement that I took the whole thing so seriously. 

This may at first read like a brag. I mean, don't we all value and respect people who keep their word? But there's a shadow side to this strength - I get a little compulsivey about things once I commit to them. Not truly "compulsive," but let's say overly committed to the goal. I think about it and plan around it. I schedule my days around it while simultaneously reminding myself that goals like the yoga challenge aren't really a big deal (because they're not! but I will, by God, get that t-shirt). 

For these reasons, I choose my goals carefully. In my younger years, I chose goals that were "good for me" - productivity-related goals to get more things done. They were goals for things I felt like I "should be doing". There's a time and a place for those goals, but my experience is that they tend to irritate me: I feel compelled to do them, but they don't make me happy. 

Now I try to use my commitment to commitments for good. I make goals around journaling, going outside, blogging, or just quiet and peaceful space. If I'm going to overenthusiastically overcommit to something, I want it to be something I really want to do. Something that lines up with my values and aspirations.

What's another example of a superpower you have that also has a shadow side? And how have you learned to channel that power for good in your life?

The Confusion of Knowing Thyself

I'm in a career counseling class right now, which is a fascinating meta-experience being in the middle of a career transition. 

In many ways, midlife brings clarity I did not possess in my early career. I know the kind of people I like to work with: interested in the group's good over personal agendas, do what they say they will, introspective and invested in personal growth. I know the environment I like to work in: independent work with some team collaboration and plenty of chances to get outside and move. I know that I really don't like commuting more than a 2-3 mile bike ride and that I plan to stay in Utah. 

Yet the wide experiences of midlife also muddy the waters. I know now that there are many careers and jobs in which my skills can be used well and I can find fulfillment. My list of specific skills has expanded into a large set of transferrable skills that I can use in many settings (prioritizing, clarifying ambiguous needs, perseverance). 

All of this introspection and self-inspection is an odd experience in middle age. It feels profound and, at the same time, trite and obvious. It feels clarifying and confusing. I think it's because I know myself better, and I have seen enough to realize there are a million ways to use my skills and passions that are fulfilling to me and bring light to the world. I guess I just need to get comfortable in the ambiguity. The irony is, of course, that most of my life and career is about creating clarity in complex, ambiguous problems! My superpower is in conflict with the very thing I need to reconcile with.

And the circle continues...