Today I Caught a Parakeet

There's an inarguable sameness to these coronavirus suppression days. There's a rhythm to the days, but man oh man does one day run into the next. In my 4:30 meeting this afternoon we had a straight-up argument about what day it was and between the six of us in the meeting there were three different opinions about which day it was. The only thing we all knew for certain was that it wasn't Friday yet. And we're the lucky ones with jobs that are secure and can be completed remotely!

Anyway - the monotony was fabulously broken this afternoon by a parakeet visitation!

I'm no bird expert, but I'm pretty sure that parakeets are not native to Utah (this fact was later corroborated by Google). But this afternoon while Steve was trimming the apple tree this handsome feathered guy (gender actually unknown, I wasn't about to Google that) came over and landed on our treehouse, which is currently being demolished (this was an add-on to the tree trimming project).

Steve's instincts were right-on. He first took a photo and then went for the insect net that, for reasons I can't fathom, we still have from my insect collecting phase in middle school. By the time he returned, Mr. Parakeet was gone.

A little later I came outside to ask Steve a question or to distract myself from work or something, and there was a parakeet sitting out on the ground, happily pecking away at dirt or whatever (I cannot overemphasize my lack of knowledge about birds. I'm pretty happy I even correctly identified this guy as a parakeet).

With my own cat-like reflexes I motioned emphatically to Greg, the construction guy (he's basically a part of the family now) and after both of us standing around looking at the parakeet, Steve came over and volunteered the net-retrieval fact. At this point, our task became clear - we had to catch this thing.

It turns out that getting a net over a completely tame parakeet is actually remarkably unchallenging. He pretty much just kept pecking at the ground with the net over him.

But said parakeet was more resistant to us picking him up to put him in a box and he flew away - all the way to our neighbors' deck.

At this point I was on a mission and with wildly wildernessy skills I tracked the bird to the neighbors' (not really that impressive, he only flew like 30 feet) and climbed up to their deck to recapture him. This was every bit as easy as the first time - he really didn't care at all about having a net over him.

Still, I was feeling really proud of myself and took this triumphant selfie. This is my version of taking a photo of the lion I shot on the savanna... except... this was a salvation attempt and legal (so far as I know).

Anyway, at this point the full gravity of having a parakeet in a box settled on us. So, we did what any normal American family would do - we texted the neighbors and made "Found Bird" to hang on the stop signs around our house. We also moved him to a bigger box and Googled what parakeets eat.

So far our attempts to find the parakeet's owners have come up null, so tomorrow we'll call the humane society and figure out what one does with a caught parakeet. 

WanYing spent the evening upgrading his box - first it was the bigger box. Then she decided he needed more food so he got a wedge of orange and some lettuce. Then he needed more light so she put Saran Wrap over the top (this one was kind of my fault, I suggested a skylight). Then he tried to fly through the Saran Wrap so she then used roughly 800 yards of clear packing tape reinforcing the skylight. Now he's on the dining room table with a cork board over the skylight so that the cat can't eat him tonight. Oh, and Steve poked air holes in the new box... although I'm fairly sure that boxes aren't airtight... but, still, asphyxiating the bird that I captured so magnificently would be a bit of a let down, so I'm supportive of the air holes.

So, that was our Tuesday Thursday Wednesday night. I guess my complaint that every day feels like the days before is for void today!