Goodbyes

Two weeks ago we lost a good friend and great dog - ChenXing Morningstar. It's hard to say goodbye. We still really miss her. But it's good to remember and reflect on the time we had together.

Chen was the most unlikely looking boxer-golden retriever mix you could ask for. Although her mom was a classic golden retriever, Chen's coat was super dark and everybody always assumed she was a black lab. In the sunlight, though, you could see her beautiful golden undercoat. 

ChenXing's best feature by far were her ears. She kept her super soft puppy ears even as she grew into adulthood.

Chen's needs were simple and few - as much food as possible, as much swimming as possible, as little exercise as possible, as much cuddling as possible. She was Ben's very best bud and a good friend to us all. She wasn't a particularly bright girl, and she got nervous around strangers, but once she knew you she'd be your friend forever. She loved the water, she put up with Ben constantly wrestling with and lounging on her, she had the biggest paws, and did we mention those soft, soft ears?

Two weeks ago she was feeling lethargic during the day and then at around 8 pm started being having obvious troubles. Ben and I threw on shoes, Ben picked her up (no small feat - she was a big girl!) and we rushed to the animal hospital. She died in his arms just as we arrived. 

We'll never know exactly what happened to her - it may have been a tumor that burst or that was pushing on her heart, maybe an intestinal blockage, maybe just a heart attack. We are grateful that she wasn't in pain when she died and that she spent her last moments in the arms of the person she loved best. She was only five years old. We lost her far too early.

ChenXing means Morningstar in Chinese. She wore it well.

Learnings from Hogar de Amor

We had a truly blessed week in Colima, and I'm filled with gratitude for our jam-packed and all-too-short time at Hogar de Amor. If you missed the blog posts on our team blog, check out https://centerpointmexico.blogspot.com and read Sasha's wonderful day-by-day summary of our trip!

There's so much to celebrate about our week in Colima. I am grateful for the time we got to spend with the kids playing games and doing crafts and eating so much great food. I am grateful for the time we got to spend with the caregivers sharing stories and hugs and laughing together and, yes, also eating (we do a lot of eating). I am grateful for the tasks we were able to complete to make the houses more comfortable and more beautiful. I am grateful for our time as a team, caring for each other, getting to know each other, and serving each other. I am grateful for the time we got to spend together as a family, especially reunited with Ben after his months away volunteering at Hogar de Amor!

Every time we come to Coima, God does something different in each of us. This trip, as we were hiking down the canyon river on Thursday enjoying time in the jungle and in God's beauty and with people we love, I was struck with a beautiful lesson. 

I was thinking about the word "to wait" in Spanish, esperar. I was thinking about how this trip was categorized by waiting. The team waited 18 months to be able to take this trip. The caregivers waited and waited for the pandemic restrictions to lift - for the kids to be able to be back in school, for the homes to be out of lockdown, for other volunteers to be able to come and relieve these caregivers who work so hard. The kids have waited for their families to get healthy, waited for the next chapter in their stories. The staff has waited on donations to come, hoping that they would be able to pay the bills as the pandemic affected every aspect of their community. 

So much waiting. 

And yet there's something very cool about the word esperar. Not only does it mean "to wait," but it also means "to hope." The same word that you'd use to say "wait over here" you'd also use to say, "I hope we have a white Christmas." Waiting and hoping. Waiting in hope. How cool is it that the words are one and the same in Spanish?

It made me think of one of my favorite verses:

We wait in hope for the Lord;
    he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
    for we trust in his holy name.

Psalm 33:20-21

God does beautiful things in us through our active, hopeful waiting. I think part of the reason that this trip was so special was that we waited so long for this reunion with our Hogar de Amor family.

And now the cycle of hopeful waiting begins anew as we plan and anticipate our spring trip. Waiting, hoping, esperando.

Our Grand Canyon Adventure

It was the adventure two years in the planning - 2021 was the year we were going to raft Grand Canyon! Steve has wanted to go down the Grand for basically forever, and the minimum age requirement was 12. So two years ago we plunked down our deposit for 6 days on the Colorado River and waited patiently for WanYing's 12th birthday and the passing of Covid. 

And, finally, it was May 5th and time to suit up and head down the Colorado! The drysuits were purchased, the neoprene booties and gloves were packed, the eco shampoo was in our bags, and it was go-time!

We had an astounding trip and I would recommend it to anybody looking for an exceptional adventure. It wasn't for the faint of heart - the rapids were big and the potties were outdoors - and man oh man did we have a good time.

Here's my highlight and lowlight reel:

Highlight: Outings

The coolest thing about spending multiple days down in Grand Canyon is that you get to stop and explore slot canyons, side rivers, and all sorts of little nooks and crannies that you can't get to any other way than being one of the few hundred people on the river. It's hard to pick out a favorite hike/excursion, since they were all so cool, but the Little Colorado River was definitely one of the best. 

The Little Colorado is mineral-rich, which gives it such a distinctive color. It's beautiful, and also a darn lot of fun to float down.

Here are some favorite excursion photos:

 

Highlight: Camping under the stars

We were blessed with incredible weather during our Grand Canyon adventure. Evening temperatures in the 60s, daytime temperatures in the mid-to-high 90s (this is downright balmy, the floor of Grand Canyon easily gets to 115 in the summer), and no rain at all! It was the perfect weather for sleeping out under the stars - we never even considered setting up a tent! Going to sleep under the stars, waking up to the Milky Way in full glory, it was amazing.

My favorite night was when Sam and WanYing decided that they wanted to sleep out on a rock shelf. So they toted their cots and clothes up on the rocks and had arguably the greatest bedroom view of all time!

Lowlight: Waking up at 4:45

Of course, the downside of sleeping out under the stars was that we were also up as soon as dawn's light broke. While waking up at or before 5 am will always rank as a lowlight for me under any circumstance, there was an ease that came with aligning to the sun's rhythms. We were in bed by nightfall and up at dawn and it was actually a-ok. Well, I think it was a-ok, the teenagers thought otherwise.

 

Highlight: Rapids! 

The big draw for rafting the Colorado (well, beyond getting to unplug and get away from it all and hang out with your very favorite people and having the staff feed you) is the rapids! A big canyon means big whitewater - Grand Canyon even has its own rapids rating system!

The hits were big and fun and we all went home having consumed no small quantity of the Colorado River as we laughed and shrieked down the rapids.

Highlight: A space for every style

The best thing about going with Western River Expeditions is that you get to go on a rig called a "J Rig."

 J Rigs are giant pontoons lashed together front to back, which means that if you want to sit in the front you get a full rapids experience, but the farther back you sit the more sedate the trip becomes.

We all migrated from the front to the back to the front again, and we really appreciated having the choice of how extreme we wanted each rapid to be, including solid napping options.

 

Lowlight: Dry skin

I live in Utah, the land of incredibly dry skin. Our average humidity level, according to some random website I just Googled, is 0%, peaking to an average of about 10% in the summer months. Compare this to an average year-round humidity level of 67% in Westminster, Maryland (where we grew up), and that gives you a picture of how dry is the air that we're used to. 

However, we were not prepared for what Grand Canyon would do to our skin. 

Between the constant wet-dry cycles, the dry air, the sun, and the high salinity of the Colorado River after Lake Powell's evaporation, man did Grand Canyon do a number on our skin! Our knuckles were cracked, the corners of our eyes never stopped stinging, and we gratefully used up every drop of the 4 types of lotion I brought. Lip balm was more precious than gold. Our skin was seriously dry!

Highlight: Everything about the staff

Our trip staff was simply amazing. They really loved what they did, they took amazing care of us, they fed us, they set up our potties, they took us on hikes, and every morning they were ready to do it all again. 

Highlight: The helicopter ride

Because we "only" signed up for a 183-mile, 6 day trip, we got flown out of the canyon by helicopter! This was a first for our family and we loved it!

 

Lowlight: The plane ride

After the helicopter ride and a shower (AMAZING!), we boarded a ~15 seat sightseeing plane for a 45-minute ride back to Lee's Ferry, where we put into the river and where our car was parked. It was, bar none, the most nauseating flight of my life. This was in no way the fault of the pilot or plane, they were both fine, it apparently is just how little flights go around Grand Canyon area. It was a beautiful, unspeakably awful flight.

 

The Best Highlight: Being together :)

The very best part of our Grand Canyon Adventure was just being together. No distractions, no to do lists, just us and the river and being fed food we didn't have to cook for ourselves and enjoying the simplicity of nature and the joy of being together. I really like these people.

 

 

So, add a Grand Canyon rafting trip to your list of must-do adventures, and invite us when you go, we'd love to do it again!

Vacation Training

Since the dawn of time(ish) Steve has wanted to partake of the iconic American adventure of rafting through the Grand Canyon. We signed up 2 years ago to take a 7-day trip in May 2021, since it's the first year that WanYing will be old enough. There is also a helicopter involved. We are all very excited. 

Like everybody else, all of our vacation plans last summer got scrambled. We did a lot of local camping around the great state of Utah, which was great. And we started started thinking, "what could we do that keeps us out in the outdoors, socially distanced, and is still having a good time all together?" And, thus, our ramp-up plan for Grand Canyon rafting was born.

The training regimen started with tubing the Provo River. Admittedly, that was really just for fun and had no actual "white water rafting skills" element

Next, we did a one-day rafting Green River expedition in Dinosaur National Park, as described in this post.

Our 2020 rafting training culminated in a two-day trip through Westwater in Southern Utah. We had so much fun! I thought a one-day expedition was a blast, but the fun of two days in a raft, camping out in the wilds, and having the staff cart our stuff around and cook for us was SO GREAT.

We spent a couple of days tooling around Moab first, which was fun because we hadn't been to Arches for a few years. It's such a great park. 

Also, the campground we stayed at was super posh and had a pool, so we also spent considerable time there.

And then it was time to start rafting! Westwater is a series of class III and IV rapids on the Colorado River in southeastern Utah. There are some pretty intense sections, as well as a lot of flatwater (true in any river expedition). 

Of course, we love the rapids.

But, while we don't love rowing particularly much, we love playing around on the flatwater and end up spending the majority of our time very wet and very happy. 

One favorite game is a trust fall circle thing (I guess I should work harder to come up with a name for this game). Basically everybody stands up on the gunwales and holds hands and then we lean back until somewhere between one and 6 people end up falling into the water. 

Maybe I'm not selling it very well, but it really is a ton of fun. Our guide even insisted on playing with us (he was probably tired of rowing while we all goofed around). 

We also love the t-grip trust lean game (still working on names). In this one, two people lock oar t-grips and lean back until one or both of them fall into the water. Our games aren't sophisticated, but they sure are a lot of fun.

Other fun games include the perennial fun of pushing people out of the boat when they least suspect it (the trick is to try and grab your attacker's PFD so you can pull them in with you) and otter floating (less of a game then just floating down the river to avoid rowing). 

We also enjoy jumping off of big rocks and forcibly boarding the gear rafts because we know they have the snacks. 

WanYing's specialty is "riding the bull" (that one has a name!) in the medium-sized rapids. This is where she sits on the nose of the raft, one hand in the air and one holding on.

But our very favorite game is Last Man Standing. The goal being, of course, to throw/yank/push/kick everybody else out of the raft. This one gets vicious and, also, exhausting. We finally figured out that we need to set rules requiring people to stay on the gunwales because the little ones will just burrow in under the seats and good luck prying them free.

I hear rumors that some people just paddle and float placidly down the slackwater. Admittedly, that does sound more restful than the constant motion of my family, but where's the fun of the float if you don't worry that at any moment you may be shoved off into freezing water?

Fortunately, the camping was placid and lovely. I love primitive camping, especially when somebody else does the cooking, cleaning, and all of the actual work.

Our Grand Canyon Rampup was a wonderful and unexpected way to enjoy 2020. Bring it on, Colorado River!

Intention in Three Bracelets

Like so many people, the events of the past week have torn me apart. Violence. Hatred. The incredible abandonment of any true definition of leadership by the highest post in the land - worse than that, encouragement of distrust and destruction by an elected official. 

I've been reading Be the Bridge by Latisha Morrison and am grateful for her voice and hope for reconciliation. She lays out a framework for racial reconciliation (or, let's be honest, reconciliation of any kind) of lamentation to confession and forgiveness  to restorative reconciliation. But right now, I'm just stuck in lamentation and confession for the brokenness of our nation and our collective responsibility and guilt. I think it's ok to hang out here in lamentation - it's an appropriate response.

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions - the stats on how quickly the average resolution is broken (80% are broken by February) tell me that resolutions are not a great formula for change. 

But I do like the emerging trend of a word or intention for the new year. My friend Sarah and I always compare notes on our new year's intentions, and this year we both chose the same word: Gentle.

I struggle with the concept of self-care... I can never quite decide if something good for me "counts" as self-care or not, even if it doesn't make me feel good in the moment. I find the notion stressful (the opposite of the purpose of the concept of "self-care"). But in the last few months, I've come to embrace the concept of being gentle with myself. It may be hard for me to decide if a given choice is "self-care," but it's easy for me to identify whether or not a choice is gentle.

And I have emphatically determined that I need more gentleness in my life. 

This month, my heart and my intentions are well-summarized by three bracelets I've been wearing regularly to celebrate and remember my intention:

1. A cross. For faith. For redemption. For new life. For hope.
2. Noonday's We See Color bracelet. More redemption - it provides a living wage to artisans in Uganda and is a visible celebration of all the colors of us. It reminds me to continue my inner and outer work of racial education and reconciliation.
3. Noonday's Morse Code Bracelet Kit. Redemption part three - the beads are made from artillery shells that artists in Ethiopia melt down. It's violence and conflict transformed into hope, dignity, and beauty. And I used the beads to spell this year's intention, "gentle."
   

I know none of this is going to heal the world. But these symbols of hope and redemption around my wrist are meaningful reminders for me of the work God's doing in me and through me. And I love that.

Running Away to Paradise

Sasha has been working on our scrapbooks lately, and sorting photos and ticket stubs with her reminds me of how much I love these blog posts and being able to look back at the stories of our lives. With the convenience of posting to social media, I don't come back and write blog posts about our big trips and adventures as much as I once did (admittedly, there are fewer trips and adventures than there were!), and I miss having the recaps and retellings. 

I won't commit to our tens of readers to start blogging regularly again, I know myself too well to promise such a thing. But I do like writing and I want to continue to practice to write well, so we shall see.

Like everybody else, our summer and fall plans got completely scrambled by COVID-19. In the fall, I started getting advertisements for all-inclusive places and it got me thinking - maybe that could work as a style of travel in the age of coronavirus? Usually when we travel we go to a new place and plant and explore. We love to get to know the texture of a new place, and as we acquired more kids it became increasingly important to travel with a less packed itinerary. It turns out that my husband also prefers to explore rather than plan too much ahead of time. So, apparently, I'm the only person who eagerly anticipates a pre-planed agenda. Who knew? (answer: everybody). 

To be clear, I still think it's important to schedule a few key activities. They'll never break me of that. But I also have learned to appreciate the fun of meandering.

Anyway, an "explore the local texture" vacation clearly doesn't work right now. But, I thought, maybe the all-inclusive thing could actually work. We'd be able to get to know the environment, and if we went somewhere warm we could be outside the majority of the time. Plus, rates were killer. 

So, after lots of thinking and planning we decided to go for 10 days in the Dominican Republic. In full disclosure, I tested positive for COVID-19 2 weeks after we returned, so the evidence shows that the wisdom of this whole plan is clearly suspect. Judge if you must.

I'll also say that while planes themselves and the resort felt very coronavirus-aware with lots of precautions taken, the airports and immigration lines were another thing altogether with lots of partially-masked people in tight spaces. So, the experiment of traveling in a global pandemic was of mixed results.

All of the above notwithstanding, the trip was such a blessing. 10 days in the sun, perfect weather, getting to practice my Spanish, being together as a family. Also, after the stressful 9 months that we and all the world have persevered through, a decision-free vacation was particularly sweet. We've never done the all-inclusive thing before and after experiencing it, I will definitely agree that the no-stress, no-planning vacation has its place.

Most of our days were pretty darn boring (read: exactly what we were looking for). Lots of time at the beach and at the pool reading and taking naps. Lots of piña coladas. The hotel was only about 20% occupied, so we never had to compete for space in a lounge chair or at a restaurant, which was super sweet.

Here are the memories that stick out with extra fondness for me:

1. Sailing! 

The resort had paddleboards and kayaks that you could sign out, and they also had a little Hobie Cat! Steve and I sailed in college a lot, but after college and moving to a landlocked state, we've only been out a few times. Boy did we make up for lost time over Thanksgiving!

We took the boat out just about every day - sometimes just one or two of us, sometimes a boatload (4 - it was a small boat). We had so much fun! It took Steve and me a few tries to remember how the heck to sail, but it really did come back quickly and we had so much fun zipping around the little bay in front of the hotel.

2. Chartering a boat!

Tours and activities were limited on our trip, for obvious reasons, but there were still some activities available that seemed like a good idea. One was a boat trip. And it was only a little more to charter the boat privately, so we figured, why not?

Well, we definitely didn't realize what we were signing up for - this boat was HUGE! This photo, for example, was taken from the upper deck of the boat rented for the 7 of us plus 2 crew. It was decadent and fabulous.

Everything about the boat trip was great, but the best part was stopping at a sand bar. We spent roughly two hours at this sand bar throwing sand balls at each other. The sand was just so fluffy and that you could pack it down like moonsand and toss it back and forth. It's definitely the most fun we've ever had playing catch. The open bar on the boat probably didn't hurt.

3. Ben Unicycling at circus night

As you can imagine, one of the great trials of this trip was Ben surviving for 10 days without a unicycle. I think the unlimited room service almost made up for it, but it was still a long time to go without a unicycle. 

On Thanksgiving, the resort had a circus night festival and one of the clowns had a unicycle that he kindly let Ben borrow. It was so fun to see Ben in his element in a foreign country just enjoying being on one wheel. And the clown was duly impressed by Ben's unicycle skills.

Here's a bonus picture from that night, because nothing says Thanksgiving like a pirate and a bunny on stilts:

4. Nightly cribbage games with Ben

I don't have any pics of this one, so instead I will substitute a photo of us playing Uno with plastic cards in the pool (also a darn fine memory). 

Pretty much every night after the girls hit the hay, Ben, Steve, and I would sit out on our ridiculously beautiful patio and play a game or two of three-handed cribbage. It was sweet and fun and Ben is unacceptably good at the game.

5. The countryside tour

The other "excursion" we opted for was a countryside tour. We got to go see a local neighborhood and school and then visit a community farm where they grow and process coffee and cocoa (the photo is of WanYing with cocoa beans growing on the tree). It was so fun to see more of the beautiful island, learn about the DR's history and culture, and enjoy some darn delicious samples of cocoa, coffee, and mama juana (a spiced rum typical to the Dominican Republic).

6. Chilaxing together

No explanation needed.

We had a phenomenal Thanksgiving in the Dominican Republic. In fact... it just might be time to go back ;)