What Works (and not) in this Season

Sometimes you have things pretty well figured out - you know what feels good to your mind and body and are able to stay pretty healthy.... and then somebody changes the rules of the game on you. Maybe you get laid off or your work changes; maybe the seasons or weather change, and your coping strategies no longer make sense for your environment; maybe your kids are in a new phase and refuse to allow the space you used to hold for self-care. For me, it's an injury that keeps me away from some of the activities I love, which help keep me grounded and healthy. 

When the rules change, I find it helpful to make four lists:

• What's off the table right now? Mourn the loss.
• What still works for me despite the changes? Double down.
• What could work if I tweaked it a little? Get creative.
• What's something new I could experiment with adding? Try it out.

For me, no ACL means no skiing of any type and no mountain biking. This is a big loss. However, I can still ride my bike on stable, predictable surfaces, and I can do yoga, weightlifting, and dog walking if I'm careful about how I move my body. Journaling and knitting are big yesses I can lean into. And I'm experimenting with making sure I have one thing each day that I look forward to. 

Today I took my mountain bike out for an easy spin on a paved bike path. Part of me missed being out on dirt, and it's important that I recognize that loss. And, also, the sun felt good, and my body felt ok. And that's enough of a win for now.

When the rules have changed on you, and the things you used to do to de-stress or cope are no longer accessible, what experiments or changes have worked for you? Bonus points for something new I could try out that's knee-friendly!

How Could You Make it Self Care?

A few months ago, one of my professors in my graduate program challenged all of the interns to think about how they could transform supervision sessions into self-care. This concept knocked me hard upside the head - supervision was time for me to check in with my boss, to learn to do my work better, to get their insight, and maybe even to impress them a little. It was a one-on-one, so I brought my best game. And... it could be a time when I received kindness and took care of myself? That combination didn't compute. 

Yet this professor was so right. Sure, the entire hour of supervision may not be squishy, sweet self-love, and certainly, my supervisor needed to be able to challenge me in that time. And, also, it could be a time when I identified my needs and asked for them to be met - a little acknowledgement for the hard work I was doing, a little support in a challenging situation, a little celebration for what was going well. Supervision could be an experience that filled me up.

And that experience prompted me to look at many different tasks differently. A long drive in traffic could also include a call with a supportive friend. A tedious phone call or webinar could include a walk or just sitting in the sun. A one-on-one with your boss could include you identifying what you need to feel or perform better and asking for it. 

Next time you are faced with a required activity you're quietly dreading, ask yourself, "How could I make this self-care?" It may not transform the whole experience, but it will help you emerge a little fuller and certainly better off than if you had never asked the question!

Relaxation Hard Fought

We spent the past two weeks in one of our very favorite places, Colima, Mexico. This was our time to connect to each other and to the folks we love so very much here. It was marvelous. We were filled with the love and sunshine and good food and big smiles that Mexico always has ready for us. 

It was a tough trip, too. Steve had been away from home for most of the preceding month, working basically nonstop at the Sundance Film Festival. I tore my ACL and was hurting physically and emotionally. And right at the start of the trip, my dad was in a brutal car accident, so we were torn between coordinating what we could, caring from afar, and figuring out if we should just head home. We knew we needed this time to connect with ourselves and each other... yet it was so hard to relax into it.

Long story short, our kids really rallied around my parents, and my parents used their family and community well in this time of need (keep it coming, this is going to be a long road). We were able to stay for the scheduled duration of our trip. We checked in a lot, and our hearts were always a little bit in Utah, and we were still able to devote a lot of time and attention to rest and connection. It was hard-fought. The past two weeks have been hard-fought for each member of my family in their own way. And I'm so glad we made it happen.

Highlights:

1. Hiking to and into a cave with a torn ACL (not necessarily recommended, but it's a memory!)
   
   
   
2. Finally getting to see the dancing horses, the cabalgato (the Colima horse festival), and La Petatera, the world's largest handicraft (they put up the bull-riding stands every year, and apparently it counts as a handicraft!).
   
   
   
3. Taking the train to the town of Tequila. This has been on our list for so long, and the whole experience delighted us at every turn
   
   
   
4. Meeting new friends in Guadalajara and going to Rodo Padilla's gallery in Tlaquepaque. For years, all we've seen of Tlaquepaque was the bus station 😂 and we loved experiencing more of this part of Guadalajara.
   
   
   
5. Chill time together. It's a delight to remember yet again how much we enjoy exploring the world together.
   
   
   
   (Also playing video games and sewing little projects with the kids, also basically every meal we ate, also time with people in Colima we love so much… it turns out there are a lot of highlights!)