Weekly Goals

I love hearing what works for people to stay focused and prioritized, so I thought I'd share a habit that has been immensely helpful to me - weekly goal-setting. This practice was inspired by Laura Vanderkam (great tips here), and over the years I've riffed on it a bit to make it work for me in different seasons.  

My practice is to step back on Sunday and set one personal, relational, and professional goal for the next week. Often these relate to my annual goals, but sometimes they're things I feel I am missing and want to prioritize that week. I write them on an index card, and they stay at the top of my to-do stack to remind me that these are my top important-not-urgent priorities for the week. 

Here are my personal guidelines:

• I try not to prioritize things that will happen anyway (e.g., I'm not going to add "go to my doctor's appointment" to my weekly goals, because if it's scheduled on my calendar, I'll do it without needing to elevate the priority). 
• I try not to add urgent things to the list because they will probably get done anyway, and I don't need to elevate their priority either.
• Instead, I focus on things I would really like to do or activities I value that would be likely to get deprioritized without additional focus. This helps me create space for "important not urgent" activities. 
• In the "Relational" category, I try to focus on things to do with someone instead of for them (doing something for someone is easier for me, so I want to nudge this goal into the harder and more rewarding space of doing something with someone).
• I give myself bonus points the earlier in the week I can accomplish these goals. These don't need to be week-long goals, but rather things I'm struggling to prioritize that I care about engaging in.
• I plan before the week starts. When I was working full-time, I did this and the rest of my workweek planning on Friday afternoons, so I had already thought through the next week before it started (and while pressure was low) and could hit Monday running.

This week, my goals are to finish a book I'm reading, go on a fun date with my husband, and plan a two-day offsite for a coaching group I lead. None of these three are urgent (the offsite planning could become urgent if I didn't do it this week); all are activities I will enjoy, and all three could easily get deprioritized in the week's normal busyness. But because they are my weekly goals, and because I take my weekly goals seriously, I know I will organize my week around getting these three done.

Asia Recap

Our time in Asia has come to an end - it's been such a good trip! 5 days in Seoul and then another 5 days in a fairly untraveled part of Japan made for a wonderful adventure. Many thanks to World Climbing for taking us to places we probably wouldn't have visited otherwise!

Here are our highs, lows, and buffalos (unexpected surprises):

Highs

• 
  Of course, the top of the highs list has to be WanYing winning gold at her World Climbing competition in Fukuoka, Japan. She climbed well, felt good about her performance, and won her category. Leaving her inaugural Worlds season with two golds and a silver is pretty amazing. You can watch her climb here, starting at 2:08: https://www.youtube.com/live/dycmMkN9I4w?t=7702&si=dbW2c5n8JLM6FWDs - it's well worth four minutes of your time!
• 
  (Most of) The food. We ate very well in both Korea and Japan. Sure, there were some misses, but overall we loved the food in both countries. Highlights were dumplings, candy, and ramen. WanYing especially liked the seaweed in both countries because it was thin and delicate. I appreciated how prevalent tea is in Japan. Steve liked pretty much everything and got pretty into the flavored milks that are very popular in Korea.
• 
  Driving in Japan. We were in a fairly rural area, about an hour outside of Fukuoka, so a rental car was a must. At first, we felt pretty intimidated by the idea of driving on the left-hand side of the road. But Steve did a lot of research before we traveled, and he was a champ on the narrow, winding country roads. We loved our cute little rental kei car, too.
• 
  Our hike up Baegundae Peak. We spent a day in Seoul visiting Bukhansan National Park, an easy subway ride from Seoul (Seoul mass transit was fantastic). It was a big, rainy day of adventure, and we enjoyed the fall foliage and city views from 2,500 feet above Seoul. 

Lows

We had a great trip, but every trip has a few lows, and ours was no exception. 

• WanYing's cough - WanYing started coughing a few days into the trip and never got over it. She pushed through it and had a great competition, but feeling anything less than your best on such a big trip is a drag. 
• Navigating in Japan - Driving in Japan was great; figuring out how to get out of the city every time we visited was not. We got lost. A lot. 
• A missed flight - We got confused about the timing and missed our flight out of Japan. Super lame. It worked out, and we got back to Korea well before our flight back to the U.S., but that was a lowlight. However, it marks a first for me (Jamie) - in all of my years of travel, I've never missed a flight except for missed connections when the first flight was delayed. I can no longer say that!
• Bathroom shortage - The competition venue did not have restrooms, just port-a-potties, and there were only two backstage for all of the athletes to use! That created long lines and annoyed athletes who certainly didn't need a distraction like that.

Buffalos

All travel brings unexpected surprises, and travel in Asia brings a bunch. 

• 
  Breakfasts at our BnB in Japan. We've traveled enough to know that rules about what counts as breakfast vary wildly by culture. Our amazing host in Japan made us the most delightful meals, full of love and intrigue. Pictured here: french toast, chicken nuggets with sort of ketchup, potato wedges, homemade pizza, broccoli with mayonnaise, half a cherry tomato, corn and bean salad. Other breakfast offerings included pancakes with fruit, various soups (carrot, corn, vegetable), quiche, rice balls wrapped in seaweed, potato salad, chicken fingers with sesame seeds, an omelet with ketchup, sausage, and green salad. It was always surprising and always delightful.
• Rules about trash sorting, trash folding, and where to wear which shoes. There are a lot of rules and norms around each of these topics, and we kept doing them incorrectly no matter what we did. Korea's trash-folding game is strong. We were continually flummoxed as to when to wear shoes, when to wear socks, when to wear the provided slippers, and when to wear the provided clogs. We tried in earnest, and we apologize to both countries for our many slip-ups.
• 
  The ticket machine at Japanese ramen restaurants. We discovered that at ramen restaurants (and only at ramen restaurants), you buy a ticket at the ticket machine for your desired dish, take it to your table, and then the server takes it and they prepare your meal. It was an intense learning curve. Then we got even more confused and tried using Korean Won to pay for our ramen in Japan (to the untrained eye, they look pretty similar). Our eyes are very untrained) and couldn't, for the life of us, figure out why the machine kept spitting out our money. Lesson learned. 
• Japanese Onsen. Steve and I stretched our cultural-adventure muscles and tried an onsen. They are all over Japan and are natural, hot spring-fed pools. They are separated by gender and intended to be quiet, peaceful places - no devices, books, or clothes. We both had really lovely onsen experiences and would go again!
• 
  Schoolkids at the competition. The paraclimbing competition was a field trip for a revolving set of elementary school students, and they loved it.  They were enthusiastic about everything - cheering, seeing themselves on the big screen, getting photos with the athletes. It was so fun and definitely unexpected.
• Heated floors and toilet seats. We are all fans of radiant floor heating. Reviews were mixed on whether heated toilet seats were welcome (two votes) or not (one). 
• The otter surgery center. Note: there was no otter surgery center. Near our apartment in Seoul, there was a restaurant(?) liberally decorated on the outside with otters swimming and drinking coffee. We walked up to see if it was a cafe we could eat at, and the workers were masked, wearing surgical gloves, and huddled over a table. Steve, jet-lagged, somehow interpreted all of this as an otter undergoing surgery. The reality was only a bit less odd - they were grouting tile on a table; I guess they were renovating? The otter surgery center had us laughing a long time.
• 
  Complex bidet operation. Bidets were everywhere in both countries (including restaurants and public bathrooms), and we were unprepared for the number of choices we faced each time we used the bathroom. A wealth of bottom-cleaning options. 

Our time in Asia was so good. Good comp, good sightseeing, good food, good company. Thanks, Japan and Korea, we had a great time!

We Find What We're Looking For

Lately, I've been feeling pretty stretched for time. This feels particularly unwelcome because I worked hard to architect my life for abundance and margin. Now, there are some excellent reasons I'm feeling especially tight on time: my daughter qualified for the US National Paraclimbing Team, which added an unexpected 4 weeks of international travel to the second half of the year. This is an amazing opportunity for all of us, and no amount of margin can gracefully absorb two multi-week international trips... so I'm trying to be kind to myself. But I'm still dissatisfied with this feeling of busyness. 

I think there's truth to my feelings, and I want to be sensitive to what my body is telling me. I miss having large chunks of time to putter at home, and I'm learning from these feelings and thinking about ways to nudge my schedule to create more spacious swaths of time. 

However, I also know we find what we're looking for, and we tend to believe the stories we tell ourselves. If I tell myself a story of overwhelm, I will be primed to find evidence that backs it up. And if I'm looking for occasions where I feel unpleasantly busy, well, those aren't hard for any of us to find. 

So today I decided to even out the story. Yes, this season is more stressful and demanding than I would like. Yet, over the past two weeks, I've ridden my bike more days than not; I got a massage; I played pickleball four times; and for the past week, I spent at least an hour outside every day but one. Those are not the stories of a "stressed out beyond all redemption" individual. Those are examples of plenty and abundance in my life, with space to enjoy my most important priorities. 

So, which story is true? The stressed-out one or the one with space and time for contentment? They're both true. Both stories teach me something. The problem comes when I overindex on one and forget that the other version is also true. The reality is that in this season, I am busier than I want to be long-term, and I have ample time for the things I enjoy most. 

The stories we tell ourselves are so powerful. We have a responsibility to use them wisely. What one-sided stories are you telling yourself? What's the other side of that story? Is it also true? If so, what would it take to integrate those stories into a both-and? Would that both-and story serve you better?