We Find What We're Looking For

Lately, I've been feeling pretty stretched for time. This feels particularly unwelcome because I worked hard to architect my life for abundance and margin. Now, there are some excellent reasons I'm feeling especially tight on time: my daughter qualified for the US National Paraclimbing Team, which added an unexpected 4 weeks of international travel to the second half of the year. This is an amazing opportunity for all of us, and no amount of margin can gracefully absorb two multi-week international trips... so I'm trying to be kind to myself. But I'm still dissatisfied with this feeling of busyness. 

I think there's truth to my feelings, and I want to be sensitive to what my body is telling me. I miss having large chunks of time to putter at home, and I'm learning from these feelings and thinking about ways to nudge my schedule to create more spacious swaths of time. 

However, I also know we find what we're looking for, and we tend to believe the stories we tell ourselves. If I tell myself a story of overwhelm, I will be primed to find evidence that backs it up. And if I'm looking for occasions where I feel unpleasantly busy, well, those aren't hard for any of us to find. 

So today I decided to even out the story. Yes, this season is more stressful and demanding than I would like. Yet, over the past two weeks, I've ridden my bike more days than not; I got a massage; I played pickleball four times; and for the past week, I spent at least an hour outside every day but one. Those are not the stories of a "stressed out beyond all redemption" individual. Those are examples of plenty and abundance in my life, with space to enjoy my most important priorities. 

So, which story is true? The stressed-out one or the one with space and time for contentment? They're both true. Both stories teach me something. The problem comes when I overindex on one and forget that the other version is also true. The reality is that in this season, I am busier than I want to be long-term, and I have ample time for the things I enjoy most. 

The stories we tell ourselves are so powerful. We have a responsibility to use them wisely. What one-sided stories are you telling yourself? What's the other side of that story? Is it also true? If so, what would it take to integrate those stories into a both-and? Would that both-and story serve you better?