Who do I like to work with?

I'm at a career inflection point, which brings me ample opportunity to use the advice that, at other times, I would be dishing out to others. It's lovely to have the opportunity to step back and define what I want rather than simply coping with what I find before me.

I recently completed several exercises from What Color is Your Parachute (a classic for good reason!) and found the "people" exercise particularly interesting. In the past, I did not invest energy into defining the kind of people I love to be around and seeking them out. I think I had an implicit understanding of people I enjoyed working with, but completing an exercise specifically designed to help me identify "my people" was helpful and interesting. 

Here's the exercise:

1. Write down the kind of people who drive you nuts to work with. Identify the behaviors or traits you find particularly challenging or frustrating.
2. Stack rank the behaviors you don't like (the book has a nice tool for ranking here)
3. Now, use this list to write traits that are the opposite of your highest ranked frustrating behaviors. This is a list of the kind of people you love to work with.

I like this exercise because it's often easier to identify specific crazy-making behaviors in others than it is to write a profile of the ideal coworker. And it's an easy way to transform a list of "nos" into a list of "yesses" that you can seek out. I also like this exercise because you're describing the behaviors of folks you enjoy, and this leaves tons of room for diversity of perspective, background, and viewpoint in the teams you surround yourself with. 

Here's what I learned in this exercise: I like people who

• Prioritize the common good over personal agendas
• Do what they say they will, without being chased down
• Are introspective and interested in growth
• Are sharp

Will I have to work with folks who do not bear one or all of these behaviors? Yes, of course! Yet, I also have a lot of influence over the teams I work in and the work groups I create. And knowing the kinds of folks I thrive with helps me be happier and higher performing in the team. There's power in knowing what I like - I've spent a lot of time working with what I'm given (good skills) and it feels empowering to also identify how I work best.